Dogfaced H.

"This place is awful, and I would boycott them even if they were good because of the paper menus they slip under my apartment door every couple of weeks. This is 2017 and wasting paper is not cool."

"There's no swimming here! Who said you could swim here?!?"

"Mention Billy and get a discount on all new MLB franchises."

"Be sure to ask Garret about Diamond's specials!"

"While spanking visitors, be careful to achieve the correct level of redness."