Max Degterev

"Don't go here. You'll bleed out and die before they even notice you're there"

"Great place. No toilet, nowhere to seat and the food isn't fresh. Highly recommend"

"Twas a nice place, but get a seat outside if you want to wait here cos inside is infested with hundreds of flies."

"Good steak. If you want it well done you might have to send it back once, but otherwise nice and friendly."

"Small, dirty and in every way unspectacular"

"Bored security people will go through each item in your possession."