Richie Goodtimes

"You haven't partied till you've spent two nights sleeping on a folding chair while the room next door has an empty bed at Palomar Hospital!"

"A leprechaun fucking humped my leg."

"Not a strip club. Totally disappointing. Didn't even have a bar."

"Free hand jobs with every jumbo order of wings."

"Just left a bbq here. I think the hot dogs were made from welfare babies. Cruel, but surprisingly tasty!"

"Anyone who voluntarily drinks Fernet is an asshole."