Lucas

"Try the Psalms - they're pretty good. Otherwise, not such a great experience. Turns out God is fake."

"There's something in the woods. Might be a shopping cart, might be a tipped over chair. Either way, I'm positive it belongs to a hobo."

"I ordered turkey sausage... I got turkey and sausage. GG."

"Try mashed potatoes with strawberry syrup. It's lunacy that this isn't the default way of eating it after all these years!"

"Good lord, the new Restaurant is baller as the day is."

"Bring towels for the urine."