Michael Schilling

"I thought I smelled a fart. But then I realized... It smells like fart EVERYWHERE."

"Try the Creeper. Its the tits."

"Make sure you try the Merlot. It's delicious."

"Don't feed the ducks. If you don't know why, you're not from Torch Lake."

"Serious upgrade at Kings skee ball and shuffleboard heyyooo"

"Don't put cherry whip cream in your vodka redbull cranberry. It's gross."