Deb Ruddy

"Show your student card for a 10% discount!"

"If you want a 'cola' on tap, ask for Pepsi, otherwise the jokers there will charge you for a piddly little bottle of expensive stuff instead of mentioning it. Not impressed."

"If there's money in your bank account and none in your wallet, then this is a handy place to redress the balance."

"The bus tracker lies... Do not put faith in its seeming trustworthyness. (Although sometimes it tells the truth, the saucy minx.)"

"If you like your dinner to heavily feature baked beans, minced meat and/or sausages - you've come to the right place."

"Punting: best spectator sport ever."