Jason Bowie

"Every day Dan hides three riddles around the store, solve them all for a password and you'll win a free prize!"

"I come here to punish myself for being a bad person. I don't know what Carol J is thinking. Maybe she's never had other food before."

"It's not the birthplace of freedom, but many people believe it's the spot where freedom's mom got knocked up"

"This is where you can go if you need to buy food, fyi"

"With Victorious"

"Whoever the god damn idiot who named this place on four square was wrong. It is called Plaza Liquors, not Plaza Package Store. Read a sign!"