Mark Ainslie

"Bring cash. This place doesn't accept anything else. They have a super cool wooden cash register and it's not even ironic. That ought to confuse the hipsters enough."

"If you only try one thing, try the peameal bacon sandwich."

"Be nice to the nurses. They work hard."

"Don't feed the Sean!!! We don't want to encourage him."

"If you visit make sure to bring plenty of alcohol. The keeper of this place is grumpy and needs constant appeasement with libations and incessant flattery. He is small-minded and troll-like."

"Watch out for ninja!"