Alan Keith Simpson

"Why are Canadians such complainers?"

"No, this is not an erectile dysfunction clinic. I found out the hard way by asking the girl in Purchasing to "help me.""

"Try Leslie's wonderful snake tartare! You'll be glad you did."

"Try the toast. Best toast for a half-block radius!"

"So Mi-kyung is authorized to speak for all Korean chefs? This ain't Japanese and it IS excellent so just ignore this snobby comment. She probably has a grudge."

"You mean it's not the Korean Girl House? Damn!"