Laura C

"Don't get hurt at Joe's. The only first aid is Tator Tots."

"If you find women's underwear on the floor, on the shelf, or under the bed, they belong to Joe. Even if he tells you they don't, he is lying."

"Stay away from the bathroom if Joe is pooping. If you don't your face will melt off like you just snuck a peek at the arc of the covenant."

"Snuggle in Lauren's bed. Its comfy."