Jethro Plebeian

"Took forever for the coke head bartender to get me a drink"

"Breakfast is on point. If you dine-in, watch out for Jorge. He has a big straw hat and will try and touch your dangus if you don't give him a hash brown."

"Go to the nail trimmer guy. He clipped my nails very good. Friendly fellow but his breath stunk"

"Don't sit on the second bench. I took a dookie on it after the 2010 hawks parade"

"Fresh coat of paint makes my nostrils hurt. The big buck hunter game is splendid though"

"Cover on a Tuesday night and no fried chicken!? I'm offended"