Jeff Taylor

"If you eat at the Outback, don't ask for a steak knife. They'll look at you like you're an idiot and yell that steak knives are not allowed past security. My bad, dude. :("

"The spicy chicken will make your b-hole sting with delight. Four stars! God bless Truett Cathy."

"Don't trust Emily. She's the WORST MAYOR EVER!!"

"Get the chili. They put a bit of diarrhea in it to guarantee a great time later."

"Some dude was walking around with a monkey on his shoulder. If you see it, go up and pet it. It WILL bite you and hive you AIDS!"

"If you pee, use the sink. It's the secret to really enjoying this place."