Jacob Fischler

"Ju need speed up da breedge."

"A chill spot for a cool brew. Fun fact: the Germans pronounce the name Aleh-Weefeh."

"Use the downstairs bathroom, much cleaner and there's never a wait."

"Find two trees that are close together and lay some branches across them to make a quick sleeping area."

"Pick up a copy of the ASP. Best college paper around."

"Ten second rule does not apply"