Maurilio Mendoza

"You know shes a stalker . . . . or a serial killer, if you wake up at 3 'o clock in the morning and shes staring at you. . . in the dark. . . . .and says. . . "You know that I love you right?""

"hello lady may i have two shots"

"Somewhere someone's therapist knows you."

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who’s creepy now Kandice ONeill ?"

"First rule of cuddle club: It better lead to sex or you're out of the cuddle club"

"Liquid Cocaine ...deleting memories since...uhh..."