Evan Lukaske

"Door situation extremely confusing. Go to the one on the right. Or go to Number Nine next to it...lotta hunks."

"The hot dog bites are literally a hit dog cut into slices and put on a kabob. What a scheme."

"This bar no longer has the carrot cake that everyone in the tips section raves about. Also, I'm pretty sure all the waitresses are on meth."

"Kyle the Waiter is NOT amused by your jokes."

"The worst corn in America. But the service is pretty funny, I think the server is stoned."

"The Arcadian cocktail is amazing. Great service."