Emily Mullender

"so are the people"

"The pool's good"

"The fridge looks like a cupboard but it's a fridge.."

"Maybe don't go on the play park. Today a child pooed himself and proceeded to wipe it all over the climbing net, swings and rest of the equipment. I'm scarred for life."

"try the chicken korma. best curry in town. this is the first positive tip I've ever written.."

"absolutely shit. ordered an iced vanilla latte, got given a warm regular latte. hire better staff already"