Derek Souter

"Because they can't work out a float, you are regularly short changed when paying cash. Always fight it."

"Screen 7, row A doesn't have a seat number 10, don't let them sell you it!"

"Ask for a small and watch their heads melt!"

"Ring the bell on the left of the door for entry"

"If you're there for an all day event, take a cushion. The seats are torture after an hour"

"It's Cumbernauld. Avoid it if you can"