Dan Jordan

"Sneak up on Ashley S. in her chair and tickle her. She loves it."

"Next time you're near Mark Nardi's office, visit Megan Oconnell. She's very friendly, and loves visitors. Particularly if they're almost 7 feet tall."

"If you walk past Mark Nardi's office, keep on walking till you get to Megan O'connell's. Then urinate in it."

"This is the real Celebrity Pizza. The other Foursquare listing is an impostor."

"Take some hard candy on your way out. But don't try to set the record for how many you can put in your mouth. After 19, you'll probably choke."

"Mark loves his booze. So if you visit his office, be sure to bring your finest Hooch."