Dallas McCann

"Onion soup, pork shoulder, oxtail soup and you absolutely have to get the pulled pork sandwich!"

"The absolute best Mexican food in Sacramento. Everybody should try the Milanesa, it's like a Mexican fried steak.... Incredible. And don't forget to top it all off with a few of their top shelf Ritas."

"The Mushroom Salad and the House Favorite... Unbeatable!"

"Don't bring a gun, and don't try to steal the dice cups. Dave will catch your ass and then rape your butt hole in the ally."

"Make sure you tip! Also, it's legal to bring in your own alcohol, so have fun with that."

"Don't wear red or blue. Is there a reason why the DMV is always packed with ghetto people?"