Christopher Britton

"Mike Britton is the best mayor ever. He once passed a law that allowed me to gain monetary status here. MIKE BRITTON 2015 FOR MAYOR. Vote for mike"

"Cats billiards is more fun than CATapulting you're CATtle through the air. It is so god damn beautiful, that CATapillars come from CATstrophic distances to cacoon into beautiful fucking butterflies."

"Bobby is the greatest bartender to ever walk the Earth. Without bobby bartending, the Earth would literally stop rotating on it's axis, killing us all in the process."

"Welcome to my town"

"Badassssss"