Chris Beaver

"After last year's fast food worker strike I think we all saw this coming..."

"It doesn't seem responsible to not have a condom machine next to this... What woman can resist an exquisite replica of Drakkar Noir?"

"I promised years ago I would marry the first girl who could beat me in Street Fighter II. Still single."

"Just rip it and win! Twenty cents off my next Wasabi Fries, all right!"

"You caught me, I like to break a mental sweat too."

"I'm such a beefcake, I can't even get through the door. Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!!!"