Brandon Locke

"Come at 12 and you'll wait forever. The fish burrito will donkey kick your schlong off though. That's a promise."

"Detroit's best kept secret. Great lofts. Affordable. Marc the landlord and Brian the maintenance dude are the realness."

"Pro Tip: Bottled Water - $2.78. Cup of water - $0.00."

"The General Tso's Cauliflower will blow your dick off. That's a promise."

"Try the airplanes!"

"If at first you don't succeed, switch to fine arts."