Austin Gunter

"The TSA gives free massages, courtesy of Obamacare. Just say the secret phrase "opt out" at the x-ray machines."

"Get ye thou thine bottomless mimosa, and be thouest knighted King (or Queen) of the Day Drinkers!"

"Great neighborhood bar. Order rye drinks here. They know how to make a great old fashioned."

"Pick a song with a Saxophone solo....you just gotta trust me on this one."

"Open on July 4th! Get your breakfast here before you see your fireworks."

"Get the square opaque desserts, "barfi." the name is weird, but it has a life-changing flavor. If you're into having your life changed by gustatory bliss, get the barfi."