Alex McMurrin

"Dinner with the sister and niece."

"Awhhhhh. Why?!?!?!! *sniffles*"

"Being a goddamn adult!"

"I think I'm going to baptize my first-born in the Salsa Verde here. It's that good. Yummmmm. I try to stop here every time I'm in Chicago."

"This is by far one of the worst WalMarts I have ever been to. Extremely rude employees, and it's filthy. I only come here if it's unavoidable. Stay FAR FAR away."

"Take your shoes off at the door..."