Hap

"Snap a pic of the staff entering/exiting from the mysteriously tiny door."

"The Book Burner is real. real. tasty."

"The burgers are the best in Crossville. The Mushroom Swiss is particularly nice, with thick, fresh mushrooms."

"Try the Appalachian (pronounced "app-a-latch'n" Pale Ale for a refreshingly citrusy summer treat!"

"Stay away from the Tuckaleechee. Tastes like what I imagine it might taste like to lick clean an ashtray."

"The Carne Asada is possibly the best meal in Crossville."