Jake V.♠

""Coffee" starts with a "C" and ends with an "E," much like "cute," "crude," "calorie," "choke," and "consumer is broke.""

"Big Lou's BBQ > Big Lou's Pizza."

"As mayor of Panda Express, I declare every Tuesday to be "Topless Tuesdays!" Come in topless and receive free, yummy orange chicken!"

"The men's bathroom is kind of trippy."

"This particular Gold's Gym has the largest free weight selection all of San Antonio, as well as an indoor track, basketball court, and a pool as well...take that Texas heat!"

"Probably the calmest part of 410 all around SA...except for those silly "Fast & Furious" burnouts, and I'm not talking about the cars."