Chris Abidian

"Mercifully, the last game at Fenway this year. Painful, yes. That said, still, as always, f the Yankees. Also, posada swallows."

"I just saw an entire pig go by on a cart. I knew I'd be getting porked tonight."

"Bring your own refreshments. Stick it to the man!"

"Soy sauce is present here."

"They kick the shit out of Speedee."

"If you are male, and don't have a smart phone with you here, you will want to slit your wrists."