Colin Smith

"Bring your lawyers and a translator. You'll trip over a kid and have to square off with a foreign au pair. Don't expect management to step in for you; they're blithe even while taking your order."

"Ask them to bring back the Green Tea latte. On ice with soy = refreshing, caffeinated, with protein and plenty of anti-oxidents."

"Watch out for the rogue Weimaraner"

"Friends and family $25 off of $150 purchases!"