Michael Solomon

"The bathroom is the most disgusting bathroom I have ever seen in my whole life including the bathroom at CBGB. Get your shit together, break."

"The snoring princess radiates body heat like whoa!"

"I happen to know for a fact that there is a super hot dude staying in room 400 from now until Wednesday. Seriously like Johnny Depp hot! (a little small in the pants, though)"

"Tommy used to work on the docks. Union's been on strike he's down on his luck, working at the Sparrow Tavern."