Josh Schultz

"Screw it, you're not coming here to be skinny. Get the double."

"The first rule of Dick's Hideaway is, don't talk about Dick's Hideaway."

"I'm the guy whose phone is ringing."

"Stop making out in the frozen food section. I just saw your barefoot kid eating cascade in the soap isle."

"Great place to bring your barefoot children and screaming baby."

"I couldn't even remember if our waitress had a head."