Mike Simon

"Best fried calamari."

"Bring lots of money! Dayum!"

"Ax fo scampi butta fo dippin yo braid!"

"No wonder people get mugged here. They have the slowest pumps and receipt printers ever!"

"Back again. Ribeye this time. No complaints!"

"Not sure what "Mr. I want a free lunch" was complaining about, but I just had a Martini, Cesar salad, filet, baked potato and glass of Cab for under 30 bills before tip."