Simon Pearce

"Alarm sounds every minute so clearly opportunities for five finger discounts."

"Cash machines are a nightmare. Don't be in need of money when you're here."

"Serving coffee with a smile. The world needs more smiles."

"Check out the scotch eggs with runny yolks. Snack genius!"

"Lovely new shelter. It does have a CCTV camera though. Not sure why I need to be watched waiting for a train."

"The fact that owner is portrayed in a faux Michaelangelo ceiling mural tells you they're in it for the money. Arriving for coffee, the shrug said "sit anywhere - all tables are equally dirty"."