Doug Comedian

"Hey! A mall in the airport! Now you can buy even more crap that won't fit in the overhead bin!"

"Oh my god this guy Doug performing at the open mic on Wednesday is so funny. He changed my life. I made up with my ex and found the beagle I lost 5 years ago because of him!"

"You know that Jack London story where the guy dies of hypothermia at the end? That's the setting they keep their A/C at here."

"Bartender called me "sweetie". It's getting pretty serious."

"Holy shit, you're in Hong Kong!!!"

"Manhattan-style price gouging but with none of the culture!"