Miles VanMeter

"VEGAN TIP: The beans have lard in them. The rice is vegetarian."

"What do you mean, "How was Jumbo's?" Fuck you, Foursquare. Have you ever even been to Jumbo's? Fuck you. Go back to your suburb, Foursquare."

"So, they wrote me a check... and I have to pay $5 to cash it there, because I'm not a member. Makes so much sense. This place is ghetto."

"Be friends with the mayor."

"Great place to pick up boxes and to check out the old Post chalkboard for nostalgiac purposes."

"Some drunk asshat in a green tanktop and gold chain asked me if I was gay. Classy clientele, for sure."