Alex McConnell

"Watch out for William Poole, the notorious flasher!"

"Get the Jungle Curry - very (very!) hot but so tasty!"

"You can claim the loyalty card in the special by contacting their Twitter account. They posted mine out to me."

"Say hello to Basil the dog!"

"Always plenty of copies of the Metro newspaper in the lobby"

"Don't go in the cafe. Rip off prices, takes forever."