npb chicago

"The $4 fee to climb the Cape Cod Light is totally worth it. Must do if you're in from out of town."

"Best way to do it platinum at Riu Palace Bavaro. Leave the weak sauce behind and plan to luxuriate here like a VIP! #WERQ"

"Wafflehouse Chicken Pizza will replace any orgasm you've had in your life. TRUST ME."

"Keep your elbows up and butt back. Otherwise, 10 burpees for you!"

"Don't hop off the 2nd car of the outbound train at Ravenswood too quickly; sometimes the train overshoots the platform, in which case you're liable to tumble literally straight on to Lawrence Ave."

"Before entering, be sure that you are not part of an Aetna PPO/HMO plan. BCBS is nice; UHC Platinum is better; being Mittens wealthy is preferred."