Matt Hoffman

"It's a bar. All the booze is poured out of half gallons."

"They screwed this place up. 7 dollars for a Malort? Music is still good. Wrigley prices for this town? No thanks."

"Guy knows his bowling."

"They aren't lying. The ribs are great!"

"Stage left speakers. If you can take the bass, you will always be close to the stage, probably behind me."

"Worst store ever. Waited in line for an item I grabbed off the shelf for 45 minutes only for the cashier to tell me that it isn't in stock! Why the hell is it on the shelf?"