Lauren Machado

"If you see a chick driving a Lexus with a chunky boxer wearing a sweater in the back seat...throw feces at them. They like it!"

"Dirty dishes, dirty people, rock hard cheese and stale food. I'd take Golden Corral any day."

"Watch out for the rapist!"

"The best drinks! Foods good too! I reccomend a jalpeneo burger and cherry limeade! Half priced drinks 2-4."