Rob Alvarez

"The only crimes in this hood are committed by white 15 year old alcoholics"

"There is a rainbow that stretches from Hyde Square to Forest Hills...but dont fall off in Jackson."

"Dont give money to the guy claiming to take a bus to Springfield for drug rehab...you're actually only adding to his habit."

"Get measles!"

"Everything here is far overpriced than it should be. Only tourists pay $45 for a t shirt. Go elsewhere and get the same stuff for half the cost. What a scam."

"Dorm Security is like passing through TSA clearance at the airport minus the patdowns"