Dean Marriner

"Overweight, mackem, charva? It's like a magnet for you. Home of the living dead!"

"Pensioners! It's very easy...9.30 and you can use a pass. Any earlier and you can't. 9.30!!! That's half past nine in old money."

"They have an information desk. It's rubbish! I asked them the capital of Kenya and they said they didn't know! Apparently their only do bus times!"

"Get some tats, no loads of tats, get some strong lager, a violent and dangerous dog lounge about on the grass all day or get a job."

"Wear black, wear make up, drink heavily."

"Sitting on the seats in-between the bus stands, does not count as queueing! Don't then complain about your place in the queue!"