David McRaney

"The free wifi is so slow you might as well send a letter."

"Buy tickets from the machines out front or inside."

"Get a Fire Ant. It's local, potent, and delicious."

"Security was rude, confusing, and generally more uncomfortable and grueling than the entire 15-hour flight here."

"Super modern inside, the rooms feel like Apple Stores with beds. Five minutes from everything. No free wifi, costs $26 a day to connect to the Internet."

"Tomato soup with Gouda grilled cheese, put it inside you."