Adam Mordecai

"If you get there when the line is to the door, don't panic. Takes about 20-24 minutes to get from door to cashier."

"If you become the mayor, your soul gets trapped in the coffin and you are damned to walk the underground baggage tunnels until the apocalypse or until the scary blue demon Bronco is taken down."

"Please mess with Texas."

"The gluten free chips are better than the regular ones"

"Do not refer to it as the kids playground. It is to be called by its proper name: The Germ Pit."

"The Hawaiian Dog is good stuff. Makes me miss Crif Dog in NYC."